not much of a glimmer of hope here.
when i realised that it lasted more than what he ever experienced, i was jubilant. i thought that meant that it's the real thing, that we will last. i should have thought of the possibility that he will get tired of it, of me, since he never made it for so long before.
he could be too busy, too overwhelmed with work stuff to entertain me, to take care of me.
"i thought we discussed this before."or maybe it's just my own failure. something i didn't manage to do well enough. something that is missing. that maybe i am just not a good girlfriend. or not suitable to be a girlfriend at all.
he needs to think, needs to sort what his heart wants him to do. but somehow i already knew the answer.
or maybe i would be wrong.
i hate to place my feelings and emoions on someone else's hands. i hate it. i don't want to grovel. i noe it would do neither of us good even if i tried. and i know it cannot be saved this way. and i think i've compromised enough to have this kind of privelege. the privelege to have a clean cut if that's what he wants.
but i really thought i did my best.
